“The closer I get to my Death, Peace I seem to find”

“Death Blog” Texas –The-Lone-Star-State

July 13th 2011 3:41am

“Welcome To My Nightmare…Tales From a Dead Man”

“Reputation is what men & women think of us; Character is what God knows of us”

Good morning from Texas Death Watch…I’ve only 7 days left to live if all else fails in this journey of doom & gloom…What started out as death & misery has turned into something extremely positive, overwhelmingly powerful to say the least.

Yes, it’s another morning and a morning with no water…they turned the water off due to some problem and the officials warned us not to drink the water…so it’s a great way to start the day, thank heavens I had bottled water on my shelf or I’d be hurting this morning for coffee. That’s almost as bad as the thought of this ol’ execution that’s inching up on me.

I had yet another awesome legal visit yesterday…which really was one of the best ever…and the emotions were high and it’s so very hard to explain all of this to the ones who view this blog without sounding confusing…but it is definitely  an experience that has already molded me into a new person. I’ve seen so many people worldwide trying to save my life in the last few days and weeks and it’s a surreal feeling. It’s like my life is flashing right before my eyes. As I said in an earlier blog…the closer I get to my death Peace I seem to find.

So let me give my thanks for the efforts of my attorney, Reprieve, and all the supporters I don’t even know that have signed the petition and that’s from the ol’ heart of a grateful man! Also LINNY & MADGE what you provided Annie & Sophie for me to see was the missing piece of the puzzle, to have been able to see that with my own eyes and to feel the words…to actually have been able to have heard that was music to ears and fuel for the soul. The tears flowed freely and I will always cherish that and remember the accent, the smiles, and just everything. Yes, Til The Mother Fx*$#!@ Wheels Fall Off!

True American ~ Unbroken

Mark Stroman

 

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49 Responses to ““The closer I get to my Death, Peace I seem to find””

  1. Gewitterfee Says:

    The quotation above this posting is a very good one, Mark.
    I wish you to really find your peace.

    The usual execution time in Texas, 6 pm, means it would be 1 am in Germany, I think, so it would be deep night here…..
    as I have to work the following day, I can´t promise anything, but I will TRY to stay awake during that hour.

    My thoughts and my prayers are with you and I hope if the execution should take place, there will be loved ones of yours who had gone already to fetch you.

  2. G’day from Australia. This is my first time at your blog. I am not sure what to say but reading what you have written, you have really touched me.

    I hope that your execution doesn’t take place. Bless you and know my thoughts are prayers are with you.

  3. Linny Meakins Says:

    The privilidge of having you in my life and trying to help you is all mine Mark. What you have done for my old Mum, your darling Madge, I can never thank you enough for, the debt of gratitude is all mine Mark. I have seen her life and happiness grow and transform through your wonderful letters of love and support for her. You, my dearest friend, are an inspirational human being, a unique soul, who has touched all the lives, of the many people who have become your friends over the past 9 plus years. We all love you Mark each and every one of us. No one is going to let you go now, or ever, you will forever remain in our lives and our hearts, whatever this week brings, it could not be any other way, because of the person you are. I can genuinely say Mark, that for us ‘The Muther F—in Wheels Will Never Fall Off’ ‘me luverleey’. Always and forever. ‘Little Bit’ and Madge xx

  4. mark thank you for your words your heart your soul the bit of happiness u have brought to my life the smiles and the jokes and the way u were there for during my awful time in my life you are in my heart and in my soul deep in my prayers u will always be with me and if it comes to u leaving this earth i pray you will never forget me cause i will meet u where the grass is green the sky is blue never forget that i care alot about you thank you for being by myside for being my friend and for just being there when i needed a smile the most my mom is watching u from up above i hope u do find peace that mr raisis can find peace and that ur death if it should happen not be in vain my love and hugs are with u till the end of this life and the one i have yet to see xoxoxo love always tenderly your friend forever misty

  5. i need to speak to the the person that is the agent or rp that take cares of his affairs.of mark to contact me. he will know who i am, this is very important. please contact me. christy trenvino allen will know how to contact me. verfiy this thru mark

  6. Gewitterfee Says:

    Got a text in our parish´s news today and I´m going to try to translate a part of it…..it´s about Mt. 13, 24 – 30.

    “No hopeless cases”
    To throw weeds seed onto another one´s field secretly, that´s no foolish trick. Here someone is being sabotated intentionally. Certainly, at that time, every landowner would at once have told his servants to pull the weeds out. But the landowner in the parable hesitates. He is afraid that, among the bad plants, the good ones will be destroyed too. And that is something he does not want. Thereby, this landowner becomes a symbol for God who is acting similarly.

    Sometimes, one hears the saying, God should tidy up on earth again, he should banish the godless into their bounds, and judge the bad ones. He doesn´t do it. God is different, says Jesus. God knows that within us human beings, good and bad are entangled in one another inseparably. No one of us is only good or only bad. In every one of us germinates something good, too, and God wants it to grow. God doesn´t declare anyone as a hopeless case.

    (Thomas Kleine in: Gottesdienste vorbereiten/to prepare divine services. Bergmoser & Höller publishers)

  7. Chris Garza Says:

    I hope someone can get this to Mark…

    Mark,

    Hey this is Chris Garza from The Body Shop we share some of the same ink, “Rememberin’ Red Neck Red”. I hope you still remember me. I know its been a long time. I found your blogs over the last few months and I just didn’t know what to say or how to say things to you. It seems that I waited too long to get this to you. I wished I would have been able to help you get through this and I will live with that the rest of my life, I’m sorry. I can’t believe how things ended up. My prayers go out to you and your family and also to everyone else involved. When I found out what happened I knew right away you were not in your right state of mind. I think they should have got you some help instead of the death penalty. I pray that The State of Texas will spare your life. If The State of Texas takes you away from here I just want you to know I will always have respect and love for you. Stay strong and keep your head held high and you know I will be playing Simple Man for you. Thank you for being my friend.

    May God bless us all,

    Chris Garza

  8. Pacifist Atheist Says:

    I am sorry you are going through this. What you did was wrong, but so is what the state is doing. I learned when I was a child that two wrongs do not make a right, our society is still learning that.

    I hope your sentence gets commuted. I hope you find peace and the forgiveness that your victims families have been generous enough to share. I wish people would see that violence only begets violence and the only way to stop the cycle is by refusing to participate in it.

    Nothing can undo what you have done (and from what I’ve read, if you could undo it, you would), and killing you will not solve any problem in our world, nor will it make it a safer place.

    Good luck to you.

  9. I send email KDOL radio station and send message to Mark : ) I hope Mark is listen “shout out” show this sunday.

  10. Gewitterfee Says:

    A friend is someone who understands your past, who believes in your future and who, today, takes you as you are. 😉

    (Just found on a card when I was tidying up my writing stuff.)

    I´ll try to find out if the time difference of 7 hours is with reference to Middle European Time or Middle European Summer Time…

    Wish I could be there to support you, Mark.

  11. to Gewitterfee. Just type google local time livingstone and you see time there.

  12. Gewitterfee Says:

    Thanks, Timppa!!! I´ll google it!

  13. I am proud to know you and thank you for all your wonderful letters and pictures. I will always have a special place in my heart for you. I am sending you a card from Glacier Nat’l. Park and I know you will receive it. As you already know, I have never believed you were ever going anywhere other than to the “Free World” and I still don’t! I will be back home in Texas in another week. I miss our letters. “IF” anything should happen as you so often think it will, I will listen to “Born Free”. I know in my heart, mind and being that one day I will take you and my three dogs to Red Bud Island. Lots of Hugs and Loves to You! Your friend FOREVER, Annette

  14. Mark, wishing you peace of mind,I know how difficult this may be to you.I’m Mexican and I love you brother.last week one of us was executed ,denied of some rights that may no matter to much to texans officials,we are a small group of people that opposes the death penanlty and you are right now #1 in our prayers.GOD BLESS YOU.

  15. God bless you always, whether in this life or in the next. Love, forgiveness, compassion and understanding are what Jesus was teaching us all along! We all die someday, but to leave this world full of peace in the heart is what God would have want us to experience when our time comes.

    It’s easy to consider this all as merely a tragedy, but God has reasons for all these that happen.

    Mark, your life is a blessing, and it has been to me, a stranger from a faraway land. May God bless the Mark Stromans and Raises in this world.

  16. Desiree Says:

    My dearest Mark, I hope all the pictures of my wedding, the letter and the card reached your hands now. I have you in my mind the whole day, thinking of you, how you feel and how brave you are. “Brave” you can only be if you sense the fear too. It ‘s not a big thing to be strong if you don ‘t know the darkness of fear. But to be brave that ‘s what earns respect and admiration. I had always to think of the words your Grandfather told you … And whatever will happen or not happen the next days – thats what he feels.
    I love you Mark and when I watch all the comments of your friends above, I ḿ speachless how much love and light you brought and bring to the world.
    Warm hug, Desiree

  17. Hi Mark, I would just like to say I am thinking of you and what you may face tomorrow. I shall miss your blog if unfortunately Rick perry does not grant you a stay. I feel I have come to know Mark the person within and you show true remorse. I live in the UK where unfortunately crime pays and you probably would have been given all the help you needed. I am a victim and I got no help whatsoever,but I still have it my heart to forgive. If Rais can forgive then who are we to judge. I shall be thinking of you tomorrow and shall light a candle for you. It is probably too late for you to get this message but I hope you do and know lots of people are thinking of you. You will be missed. Best wishes from across the pond. xx

  18. Will be thinking of you tomorrow Mark. Feel sick for what might take place. Thanks for 12 months of friendship and support – wish it could have been longer and who knows it may be. I will never judge you. No-one should – till they walk a mile in your footsteps. We are all just one small step from doing something we later regret. It’s strangely ironic that it took all this for you to ‘find yourself’. Your letters were like a breath of fresh air to me, during my own difficult time. If you dont get a stay – look down on me and Beth, and your dear friends and shine bright. Love Always, my forever friend – that Kewl girl in the UK, with the funny accent x x

    • Soumitra Paul Says:

      “We’re all just one small step from doing something we later regret.”

      I couldn’t agree more.

  19. Gewitterfee Says:

    My utmost respect for those words, Rosie.
    All good wishes from across the channel.

    I´ll go and visit my mom in hospital today (nothing to worry about, the operation seems to have worked well) and I´ll also light a candle in the hospital chapel….
    and tomorrow I´ll try to attend the rosary and the mass.
    I´m so very sorry I can´t do more for you, Mark. My thoughts are with you. My love and regards to every friend who is there by your side to support you. In my thoughts and prayers, I am with you.
    I hope it´s like Joanne K. Rowling lets Albus Dumbledore say….”it´s the unknown we fear about death and darkness, nothing else” (Harry Potter and the half blood prince).

  20. OM MANI PADME HUM

    (the Great Compassion mantra)

  21. Dear Marc, I wish you much strength for tomorrow and 100% understand your executioner. Forgive them and HE will forgive you. GOD will let you in his arms. People are stupid. One day we might understand. Kind regards as unknown. Peter from Germany

  22. HI Mark, I believe yo have truly changed and truly regret the two lives you took. As Ghandi said, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”.

    You can be with God, if you just Believe in Him. Luke 42 and 43 says this – the criminal on the cross said, “Jesus, remember me when You come [d]in Your kingdom!” 43 And He said to him, “Truly I say to you, today you shall be with Me in (C)Paradise.”

    This criminal Believed in the last moment of his life, I pray you will, too.

  23. Dear Mark–I just learned about your story. I do not believe in the death penalty. I’m glad that you are changed, and I don’t believe justice will be served if they kill you.

    I will be thinking of you tomorrow, and hoping they grant you a stay, and mourning you if they do not. Go with peace into the light, if you must go. There are too many deaths. Just too many.

    Peace and love,
    Starshadow

  24. I’ve been reading your blog for a few days now. There was just a story on yahoo news about you, I followed the links to the site to the petition to have your sentence commuted to life. Since reading your blog I have found myself thinking of you and telling others your story. I hope you get a second chance, you have the power to change the world. I will be praying for you.

  25. I also just called the governors office. Here’s the number if anyone needs it 512 463 2000, call now !! Time is running out.

  26. amy appleton Says:

    Dear Mark
    just read your story this morning for the first time. I will say a prayer for you today. You have touched me with your story as has Rais Bhuiyan, it gives me hope. Thank you.

    You have made a difference.

  27. Mark, and I know your daughter is there beside you.
    I enjoyed the good times we had at a paint. You made me laugh and that is something no one can take away.

  28. You’ve changed for the better. I am with you.

  29. Hello, it’s great to be able to give my input back to you. I first want to say, I am very against the death penalty. God is the one who will judge a person, whether it be they live for eternity, or burn in hell for the rest of their lives. I pray you know Jesus. There is not one sin greater than another and you can be forgiven. I hope something happens where they decide not to execute you. You seem to have a great heart that would be helpful to others while you live there.

  30. It’s 10:34 here in Kentucky. I’ve been scouring the internet for news relating to your case. I just heard the news. I don’t even know you and yet I feel saddened by this. I hope you now have peace forever.

  31. i know your in heaven and at peace mark i hope u can still read this your in my heart i am thinking of you and u not being here is going to get some use to getting use to having no letters from u i will miss u my most special friend i will see you when i cross over to the other side i am beside myself and i am upset but as long as your at peace i am ok and i will be ok u taught me alot about life and i will cherish u forever texas loud texas proud misty

  32. R.I.P Mark.

  33. Gewitterfee Says:

    R.I.P from me, too….
    and have a look down on us every now and then, and just wait for us when our time has come.

  34. R.I.P. Mark may god keep you in his loving care x

    • From what I have heard of last nights proceedings through the media, I know some of Marks friends were present so I hope they will share this with his other close friends who could not be with him, Mark died with dignity and courage, A far cry from the man the media portrayed over the last few days.

      In The five years I knew Mark It was a different man on July 20th than the one I made friends with back in 05. Mark has now paid his debt set by the government and I hope the families of his victims can find peace, not in his death, but just find peace find a meaningful life.

      What Mark did was what many others would have thought, I have spent too long amongst the company of men who hold those views, but the state (which ever country) promotes those views for when needed. My grandfather was a mass murderer and yet as a child I sat on the knee of that gentle old man as he told me stories and walked me home from school. back in 1914 he was told by the state and his Methodist minister that Germans were evil people and they needed to be stopped. They raped women and burned babies. So This mild mannered weaver left his grotty back to back house in a dingy East Lancashire mill town and found himself on the battlefield of Loose, amongst the pit heaps and headgears of the collieries fighting a pitched battle. It was said that the German machine guns ran with oil as they overheated mowing down My grandad and other ‘Tommies from the mills and pits who had been sent to kill men just like themselves, ordinary working men, miners weavers, men of the same religion as themselves whos ministers and priests had also told them that God was on their side.

      Well God was not on anybodies side. How could he be. Grandad was a hero because the government told him to do it, But Grandad would never talk about those horrors that tormented his christian conscience every night. But then again if he had a Christian conscience, how could he have picked up a gun and shot other christians?

      When Patriotism is taken to such extreams should we be surprised that men fly planes into buildings or walk into convenience stores and shoot those from a different country when that is the culture that the state has promoted since birth?

      I know most of us can draw the line, but others cant but whatever, the state must have its cannon fodder for the next champaign so long live patriotism and as Bob Dylan said’ With God on our side’.

      Well I’m going to have a few pints now for my mate Mark, its probably the only way I can sleep.

  35. R.I.P. Mark
    I believe that pure light and love are around you now!

    p.s. Can’t believe that Texas still has these barbarian laws in the 21-th century. That’s ridiculous!

  36. ich verfolge seid monaten diesen blog….

    und finde,dass die/der,die/der diesen blog für ihn schreibt,am ende (leider) eine kleine anzeige füt ihn schreiben könnte, wo sein datum steht,,,

    auch ich trauere um mark… mir tut es sehr,wenn ein rechtsradikaler ( oder sonst ein anderer mensch) seinen fehler bereute,aber keine gnade fand. ich hoffe,es geht ihm gut,wo er jetzt ist. auch heute nacht war ich bei dir,mark,obwohl ich dir nie schrieb. Gott versteht alle fehler und sprachen.
    Denise

  37. its a really sad day me and the kids love you and are going to miss you so much. Our biggest comfort is that you went in peace. I know you gave Mom, Tressa, and grandmother lots of hugs and kisses as soon as you saw them. RIP!!! Love, Tena

  38. Clive well said I wish I could have been there but mark knew I was in spirit I miss him already mark was a good man full of love and no hate that’s what I will remember most about him god bless . Misty

  39. Fuck mark. They should have given him the injection ten yrs ago.

    • My prayer for you is that you one day overcome whatever there is in your life that makes you make such vile comments. Say whatever hateful thing you want about my remark….I could care less…why???? Because you boohoo are to be pitied. You should hope and pray that you too can one day find the same peace and forgiveness that Mark found in his last years of life. He died a happy and blessed MAN…..I hope you can one day have the same.
      I am NOT afraid to sign with my real name…….

  40. Does anyone know if there are anymore letters from Mark that might still be in the post?

    I am glad he was at piece when he died, thats all i have to say really.

  41. I just want to say that I only came across Mark’s story a couple of days ago when it was reported in the British press.

    I’ve since read through his blog posts and seen an interview with him on the BBC. All I can say is that an opportunity for building bridges and the world being able to see what both forgiveness and contrition truly mean has been sadly lost at the stroke of a pen and depression of a syringe.

    I don’t agree with the death penalty. I don’t agree with Mark’s actions on that fateful day, either, but neither did he in the end. What an opportunity for learning and healing has been lost.

    I’m sorry I didn’t get to know Mark before the end, but I hope and pray that he feels my good wishes to him somewhere.

    RIP Mark. I pray that your life and death will contribute to a greater good down here on earth.

    Simon B., England

  42. Well shaun He got a letter off me in the last week and I hope he replied, but I dont know how me and gina will hold it together trying to read it. I always thought that would be the hardest part of the deal

  43. thank you Misty Its amazing how many here in the UK know the story and have shown a lot of interest. I’m glad Mark brought you so much happiness. It only hit me today how much I am going to miss those letters. And I keep thinking of things to tell him then remember its too late. School holls now and we have the grand kids up and he used to love seeing the pictures of me and G, Sam , George and the grand kids doing stuff up here in the lakes, It helped him escape that prison cell. Now I no longer have to take photos for uncle Mark…It leaves a hole

  44. Clive your post made me feel so humble and made me realise ” there for the grace of god go us all”
    The man/woman that never made a mistake has not been born yet as my good old dad used to say.

  45. English Rose Says:

    I hope you are in a better place now Mark. I only found your blogs recently and I can’t believe how much they touched me. I wish I’d found them sooner so I could of written to you. Anyone who takes the time to read your blogs can clearly see how much you’ve changed. I just wish Texas had stopped the execution so you could of passed your wisdom onto others. Love to your family, X

  46. Lorenzo Says:

    Ciao Mark, ho scoperto il tuo blog nel 2009 e non ho mai trovato il coraggio di scriverti. Quello che hai vissuto in questi anni di detenzione nel braccio della morte deve essere stato orribile, sono italiano e sapere che negli U.S.A. e’ ammessa la tortura durante la detenzione e’ tremendo. E’ disumano quello che succede nel death row Polunsky, come e’ disumano e crudele che la maggioranza degli americani approva la pena di morte.
    Riposa in pace, finalmente con l’anima libera.

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