“If I somehow live through this , this nightmare would have molded a new Mark”
Texas The Lone Star State
May 31st, 2011 6:22am
Welcome to my nightmare… tales from a dead man
“The only good is knowledge, the only evil is ignorance”.
The day is new, and let me start this out with a quote from Nietzsche to get the mind working… “To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering. If there is a purpose in life at all, there must be a purpose in suffering and dying. But no man can tell another what this purpose is. Each must find out for himself, and must accept the responsibility that his answer prescribes. If he succeeds he will continue to grow in spite of all indignities”. End of quote.
Life… death… hate…. love… understanding…ignorance… human nature. How many of us really understand the meaning of life? How many of us wander through life in search for the answer of existence? The last few days I’ve been doing some deep soul searching … trying to get all my thoughts in order, to contain the many emotions that are soaring through my veins like an eagle in the sky. As most of you are aware my past has not been the story book existence, some would even call it a horror story come to life… and to some extent, I’d have to agree. There is a man out there that has every right to hate me for what I did after the 9/11/01 events that rocked our world. This man, Rais, has come to the forefront in an effort to show the world how forgiveness and compassion overrule the human nature of hate. I’m envious of his actions and his kindness speaks volumes. He is an example that the human race should follow. Rais, I’m deeply touched by all you have said and that’s from my heart and soul.
We have an execution date tomorrow, my neighbor received the bad news Saturday night at his visit that the Supreme Court refused to hear his case… so Sunday morning as I sat here writing and thinking and doing my Sunday morning the way I usually do, I notice lots of old letters… legal work and tons of other personal items being tossed out of h is cell onto the floor. That’s when I came to my cell door and asked, “Hey bud, what’s going on?” and he replied, “It’s over Mark” “I’m out of here”…
Tomorrow will be the first of four executions for the month of June, two of these, the men are my actual neighbors that I speak with on a daily basis and it’s amazing how we are able to laugh and joke at the execution that is only days ahead. This has been a life altering experience to say the least. If I do somehow live through this, this nightmare would have molded a new Mark.
The last few days a very strange thing has been happening here at death watch, the next three that are slotted to die this month in Huntsville death chamber have been called out to the infirmary. There events are a bit confusing for us all… what happened was that a set of escort guards cam to these guys cells and asked, “are you going to medical?” Hmmmm? So these guys told the escorts that they have not requested or filed a sick call slip… the escorts then replied that it’s for an “EKG”… something to do with checking their heart, weight and vital signs such as blood pressure, etc. etc. etc.
I guess they are starting something new because they have never been doing this before this new drug was introduced as their killing agent. The three men refused to be taken to medical, and I don’t blame ‘em one bit.
True American Till Death
Mark Stroman, 2011