“Touched by the sweet smell of life”
Texas – United States of America
February 1st, 2011 9:42am
Welcome to my nightmare… tales from a dead man!
“Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances”
I was touched by the sweet smell of life today, one of my favorite times is when the heavens open up and let the rain slip from the clouds onto this world of ours. But today was a bit different and I will explain so the outside world can understand even the simplest things are cherished in this place of death. As most of you know, I’m a morning person and thoroughly enjoy them; sipping a cup of coffee, savoring the peace and quiet of the morning inside my own head.
So as the morning rolls in, the day shift arrives; it’s 5:30am and the task at hand is to set up the first wave of recreations, count-time and their security checks must be completed. We have a good crew today, here for one reason and one reason only, to feed their families, not to hound us or to cause us any more crap then what we are already faced with and they have all my respects as fellow Americans and human beings, no as my captors.
So I’m set up to go out with a good friend of mine, Olsen… we are both hopeful for a peaceful day and one more day is a blessing considering I’m waiting to be classified as dead man walking and moved to death watch. So we are aware of the weather reports, the arctic blast that’s headed our way, the worst in Texas in the last 15 years say the news reports. We are told it’s about 66 degrees by the guard, plus we place our hand on our wall and the coldness is not there as it normally is when it’s cold. All’s well and out we go, in gym shorts and t-shirts only.
The morning temperature is great and we are now enjoying outside rec time and a light drizzle of rain (which to me is the sweet smell of life) is falling on our skin and I tell Olsen that this could be the last rain I’m ever able to get, so I’m to enjoy it. He understands and says not a word, that’s how it is here; we face death on a daily basis and have learned to respect it.
Then out of nowhere the rains turns into a complete down-pour, the wind picks up and is blowing rain in all directions up, down, sideways and all about. We laugh like two little kids enjoying our morning time, then the temperature drops instantly and its now arctic cold. The outside lights over the top of the bards that creates the outer roof go out and shake violently in the wind, and what’s so surprising to this normally inside the outer rec-cage all we see is the sky and no breeze can get down to us… just a still air but this morning the wind is blowing hard and for the first time since 2002 I’m able to enjoy this luxury most take for damn granted. We lasted about 20 minutes before our hands and exposed body parts went numb and the guard working came and took us back into the pod. I thoroughly enjoyed that and will cherish it for the remaining days of my life.
So as I’m brought in, the guard allows me to take a shower and warm up at the same time, I undress and am instantly hit with the hot water and my whole body tingles. Almost a painful feeling; the coldness had numbed me just that quick. I showered and thawed at the same time. Texas sure has some crazy ass weather. Once I’m placed back into my cell my day is complete, no more movement for me unless I’m called out to get my death warrant or a visit arrives.
Yesterday was a really rotten day for me, as well as my 74 year old neighbor and Olsen. The regional one shake down team came in from Huntsville on a mission from about it would seem. They raided our cells and destroyed everything in their sight, they dumped out all the contents of folders into a pile on the floor, they threw our clean clothing and sheets on the floor and trampled upon them, photos and precious items all thrown about, total disrespect. And done by a very evil set of State employees who know nothing of being professionals’. They even remove their name tags that way we cannot file any complaints on them.
It’s no great surprise that this has happened, here recently a very supportive friend of mine sent in a letter about the deplorable conditions at this unit and the Gestapo type tactics used in the region one shake down squad when searching cells. The letter has caught the attention of Texas C.U.R.E. as well as some other media sources. Carbon copies were sent to some high up folks, so this raid upon my cell is in retaliation to the complaints.
Till the end of time, still unbroken and the True American
Texas LOUD & Texas PROUD