“Waiting patiently, looking deep within myself”

“Death Blog” Texas-the-Lone-Star-State

June 19th, 2011 5:07am

“Welcome to my Nightmare…Tales From a Dead Man”

“Waiting patiently, looking deep within myself”

Good morning to each and every one of you out in the great big world. This Sunday morning has started out in the normal fashion, minus my neighbor that is because he was killed by the State of Texas June 16, 2011. May your soul be able to view the sunsets and sunrises as you once loved to watch here on earth. For all the ones who knew Lee (Tiny) Taylor, he left this place a better man and with his head held high, he had also released all the inner hate that was embedded into him as a youth. This man functioned well with all humans regardless of the color of their skin or their beliefs…it was a great honor to share his final days with him.

I had a very busy week, not only was I blessed with two days of legal visits ( I thank you Annie from Reprieve, you are awesome!) but I also was very blessed with two days of special visits. These remarkable souls have traveled all the way from beautiful Germany and are forever etched into my mind and my soul has been awoken. I believe in fate & destiny and in life we do have certain people that without a doubt are soul connected to one another….it’s a wonderful feeling and I hope each one of you are able to find that peace and beauty in this journey we call life. Even though I sit in this cell alone I have company and all I must do is close my eyes and they are there and what a comforting feeling that is. (Suzy & Patrick….Ichliebe dich).

I also have to again address a certain issue that is still an ongoing problem and that is the mail. It would seem that half the problem is resolved and that’s the processing of the out going mail, they have gone the extra mile to do what they can (thank you mail ladies) but the problem is still with the incoming mail it would seem. Lots of mail is still not reaching me and others back here on Death Watch and I’m not sure if it’s by design or neglect and it caused me to really question everything. It’s easy to sit in this box of death and run many different scenarios through ones mind but one thing for sure the Captain of Death Row who is looking into this problem is now aware of the missing mail problem because just this past week he brought some of it to my cell. Still many letters and news stories are missing.

We have another execution set for this week, on the 21st and I can hear that man up in his cell singing along to something on the radio without a care in the world. That’s the strength and power that comes from within when one has loved ones and supporters working non-stop to ensure you are cared about and to let you know that people are fighting for you, it gives you a sense of overwhelming energy & pride. This death ride is more than it would seem to be and if you are able to open your mind you can see the beauty that comes from something so damn ugly…and that’s the way humans pull together in such drastic times. If the whole world could catch on what a beautiful planet this would be.

I wish I could list each and every person that’s effecting my life at the moment, I wish I could personally thank each and every kind soul who has left a message, sent a card, or is behind the scene fighting for me, but sure enough if I tried I’d fail to mention someone and that would cause me deep sadness and hurt the one I forgot to mention so this is a “shout out” to all of you out there who know me, who are thinking of me, helping me and have vowed to never give up…..I’m honored and this ride of death has truly changed me and I believe its part of the Master’s plan. Thank you all.

I must mention another special set of people though and that’s Rebel Spice, Linny Meakins, and Madge… the DavidCattermole band of Devon, England, the band Stray and an awesome guitarist named Keji from the band Simply Red, who are helping out with this venture……I thank you all for the song and for everything you are trying to do with this tour. What an honor it is for me….putting the world to rights is absolutely kick ass……Keep on Rockin’!!!!!

If I’m to die July 20, 2011 in Huntsville, Texas, I will be Unbroken and a Free Spirit….Proud…True…and grateful for all!

True American ~

Mark Stroman

2011

“I am absolutely speechless”

Death Blog” The Lone Star State!

June 15, 2011  8:36am  Execution Day!

“Welcome to my Nightmare…Tales from a Dead Man!”

“Many words rush along like rivers in flood, but deep wisdom flows up from Artesian springs.”

Good Morning Folks…live coverage from Death Watch…Livingston, Texas. Today we have a scheduled State sanctioned killing taking place and just moments ago the escort team took this condemned soul to his final visits…he will not be returning to this section of death….either way the day plays out he is now off death watch and could possibly be dead by 6:20pm this evening. Should he be fortunate enough to get a Stay of Execution he will be shuffled back into the chaotic world of Death Row

I have been mentally exhausted the last few days and things have been moving in slow motion. I still find it extremely hard to analyze my feelings but I know I must extend my most sincerest gratitude to each and every one of you that are out there who has been trying to spare my life. There’s many unseen heroes that are working behind the scenes, way too many to name so I feel if I even tried to express my thanks and left just one person out it would be a grave injustice.

Mr. Rais Bhuiyan…again let me thank you for your forgiveness and your efforts to save my life, I am absolutely speechless. I sent in another blog on this matter but have no idea if it has made it to its destination so I’m saying this again…Texas loud and Texas proud…thank you from the bottom of my heart. Fate has joined us together in a very strange way and I am honored and touched by your level of strength and forgiveness….you are truly inspiring!

I’ve seen some rather amazing things the last few weeks and never in my life have I seen so many compassionate people joined together with one common goal and that’s to stop the executions as well as mine. Reprieve and this goes to everyone that has joined this wonderful group…I thank you on behalf of myself as well as every other person on Texas Death Row and Death Watch because its wonderfully amazing to know that the hard fight is paying off..the Lundbeckdrug issue news has raced through these halls and Death Row pods like a Texas wildfire! Thank you all!

On a personal note, Reprieve, I Mark Stroman am deeply grateful for what you have done on my behalf…the world needs more people like y’all. Please, never for one moment think that I’m not extremely grateful for all you are doing on my behalf.

It’s now 9:15am and the escort team has just taken my neighbor to his visit. My neighbor has his date of execution set for tomorrow. The executioner is to get a bonus this month if he is successful. I often wonder how he or she starts their day out?? Does this unknown person have a family…does his loved ones know what he or she does all day long? What is the topic of conversation when you’re sharing your meal at home with your loved ones? Thought provoking indeed!

5:28pm…some men are wired for optimism, others for doubt….yes, indeed…just a few seconds ago the roar of laughter and screams erupted like a volcano spewing ash into the sky…the news was broadcast on the radio that the man in Huntsville has received a Stay of Execution…the cheers of this section are heard by many, and truly heard by me because I share the same attorney as the man who was just given another chance to see a sunrise in Texas.

8:54pm…the man who received his Stay just came back on our pod, he was placed on another section because he is no longer Death Watch property…to see him walk by with the huge smile was priceless!

We do have another execution set for tomorrow so one more day of stress filled moments…..but we are all having more faith than before! So with all that said I’ll close this out and hope these pages reach their destination.

Unbroken…Loud & proud Texas Style…

True American

Mark Stroman

2011

“Life is a fleeting question mark”

“Death Blog”  The Lone Star State of Texas!

June 12, 2011  6:13am

Welcome to my nightmare…Tales from a Dead man!

“The Only Good Is Knowledge, The Only Evil Is Ignorance!”

Howdy folks, please forgive me for the lapse in these blogs…I’ve recently been going through some personal issues and I’ve been somewhat in the dark on all the things that surround this site…I’ve not been receiving the comments via *snail mail* as usual so I fully and completely apologize for not being able to be as active as I should be during this CRITICAL time of The Living Nightmare. I’ve sent two blogs this month and I’m not sure if those have been posted…I can only assume they have…I would gladly appreciate it if someone could print the most recent blogs and comments and send them to me via *snail mail*. To be in the dark is really an angering situation to say the least!

We have two executions this week in Texas…the moods of these two condemned men are high and it gives us all strength to see them walk with their heads held high…laughing, joking, and squeezing as much out of life as possible on a daily basis.

I was recently sent this poem by a wise and dear friend and I feel it should be shared with everyone who reads this blog entry, it is by a young lady named, “Hannah Szenes” a Hungarian Jew, born a Catholic, who was executed by a German firing Squad on November 7, 1944; the charge was *Treason*.

One…Two…Three…Eight feet long…

Two strides across…the rest is dark…

Life is a fleeting question mark.

One…Two…Three…Maybe another week,

or the next month may find me here,

But Death, I feel is very near.

I would have been 23 next July,

I gambled on what mattered most,

The dice were cast, I lost!

Hannah was exonerated on November 5, 1993 by a Hungarian Military Court…she had been trained by the British and had parachuted into Yugoslavia to try to help the Jews of Hungary. (already occupied)

Last week I was pulled out to the Captains office in regards to the mail issue at hand. Extremely rare in itself! He had a complaint that was sent in by one of my friends, this friend sent the complaint to the Ombudsman’s Office in Huntsville, Texas, they in turn contacted the prison and as you know, dirty water runs downhill…(I used a nicer term of word there). The Captain listened to what I had to say and assured me the issue *would* be resolved, that mail on Death Watch should be speedier than any other mail back here.

So for all of you out there who may have also helped in this issue to raise awareness of the mail conditions I personally thank you and several others around me do as well. Only time will tell if this is actually resolved; I have Faith in the Captains words.

Wish us all luck back here…

Loud and Proud…True American til Death…

Mark Stroman

2011

“A little pice of heaven in a cup”

 

 

Death Blog

The Lone Star State of Texas!

June 3^rd, 2011 3:45am

Welcome to my nightmare… tales from a dead man!

“Do your best, prepare for the worst then trust God to bring Victory.”

We started our day yesterday without one of the death watch members… Texas Carried out the execution of my neighbor and you could feel the emptiness during the morning hours in which I would of normally offered my morning greetings and possibly a joke or wise crack to get one laughing, but yesterday morning there was only silence and heavy hearts on this section of death.

The day was then started with my normal rituals of prayers marking off another day of the calendar; looking at all the photos of friends and loved ones I have on display and trying to embrace a few cherished memories of the past.  Once all that is complete and a few cups of coffee are poured down me, the reality of things start to slowly creep back into the picture and the mind starts to get worked up and the inner questions start to flow…

So as the day rolls into progress I’m set up for recreation which would be outside time, and not a cloud in the sky, so I am expecting a real good sunburn which I welcome with open arms at any given moment. Then I was summoned to a legal visit in which I was able to speak with an awesome soul who has been working so hard to save my life and has been traveling all about Texas in order to do this… and Ms. Annie, if you are reading this… Thank you for all you have done!

I was also informed by this wonderful person that my grandmother, who raised me, and has been in frail health has possibly passed away in 2009 and this is the first I’ve learned of the news. The tears started to fall last night as I sat here and looked at her photos. Grandma, I love you. I hope you are at peace.

So as I’m brought back to this section of death after having had the legal visit and a burger and salad and soda and pie (thank you!) it’s now time for my recreation and today I’m slotted to venture out with my other neighbor, Mr. Lee Taylor otherwise known as “Tiny”… and there’s nothing Tiny about him. So I’m out there soaking up the sun when the officers doing escorts bring him out and place him in the other outside cage and then our time begins.

Tiny arrives and has just come from his two week death pack review with the Major of this Unit… and what this is, two weeks prior to ones execution date you must complete the proper papers, what to do with your belongings, who’s to be your 5 witness’s at execution, spiritual advisor, final mean, etc. etc. etc.  Yes the finalized papers that must be perfect and sent to Huntsville Texas. You are also able to make your commissary run again and it’s a ritual for everyone to get a pint of ice cream for death watch… as a final gesture of kindness.

So as we are out in the 100 degree hot sun, laughing, sharing memories of the past and just talking about absolutely nothing and everything they bring the ice creams out to us and here we are… two Texas condemned monsters as the media portrays us, eating ice cream in the hot sun. Loving Life and acting as kids. It was an awesome moment. The sunshine was blazing down on us and what makes it all the better is we have a pint of Blue Bell… and in Texas that’s a little piece of heaven in a cup.

Now as I’m walking around in the cage my friend Tiny says, “Hey I bet you won’t eat this grasshopper”… what did you say was my reply? He looked at me with this smile on his face and said “I bet you’re scared to eat this grasshopper”. Well out on the recreation yard there are a lot a small grasshoppers and he has one in h is hand, and this smile a mile wide on his face… and me being the person I am, replied I bet I will… and he handed it to me through the bars and down it went… Tiny was laughing so hard I thought he’d passed  from lack of air… but then it was my turn and I quickly caught another unsuspecting grasshopper and said I know you’re afraid to eat one… and to my surprise, not only did he eat one, but he ate two so he could contain the championship grasshopper eating award… which he proudly earned.

So not only did I have food from the legal visit, I had ice cream and a grasshopper. What a day it was! HA HA HA! And 3 hours later we are brought back in, sunburned and fat full! Now we are showered and our day is complete and reality comes flooding back because two more men are brought to our section of death. My neighbor who was executed less than 24 hours, his cell has just been given to another… and to my surprise, another friend! Texas kills one, and adds two more. The killing never ends…

 

True American Till Death

Mark Stroman

 

 

 

 

“If I somehow live through this , this nightmare would have molded a new Mark”

 

 

Death Blog

Texas The Lone Star State

May 31^st, 2011 6:22am

Welcome to my nightmare… tales from a dead man

“The only good is knowledge, the only evil is ignorance”.

 

The day is new, and let me start this out with a quote from Nietzsche to get the mind working… “To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering. If there is a purpose in life at all, there must be a purpose in suffering and dying. But no man can tell another what this purpose is. Each must find out for himself, and must accept the responsibility that his answer prescribes. If he succeeds he will continue to grow in spite of all indignities”. End of quote.

Life… death… hate…. love… understanding…ignorance… human nature.  How many of us really understand the meaning of life? How many of us wander through life in search for the answer of existence? The last few days I’ve been doing some deep soul searching … trying to get all my thoughts in order, to contain the many emotions that are soaring through my veins like an eagle in the sky. As most of you are aware my past has not been the story book existence, some would even call it a horror story come to life… and to some extent, I’d have to agree. There is a man out there that has every right to hate me for what I did after the 9/11/01 events that rocked our world. This man, Rais, has come to the forefront in an effort to show the world how forgiveness and compassion overrule the human nature of hate. I’m envious of his actions and his kindness speaks volumes. He is an example that the human race should follow. Rais, I’m deeply touched by all you have said and that’s from my heart and soul.

We have an execution date tomorrow, my neighbor received the bad news Saturday night at his visit that the Supreme Court refused to hear his case… so Sunday morning as I sat here writing and thinking and doing my Sunday morning the way I usually do, I notice lots of old letters… legal work and tons of other personal items being tossed out of h is cell onto the floor. That’s when I came to my cell door and asked, “Hey bud, what’s going on?” and he replied, “It’s over Mark” “I’m out of here”…

 

Tomorrow will be the first of four executions for the month of June, two of these, the men are my actual neighbors that I speak with on a daily basis and it’s amazing how we are able to laugh and joke at the execution that is only days ahead. This has been a life altering experience to say the least. If I do somehow live through this, this nightmare would have molded a new Mark. 

The last few days a very strange thing has been happening here at death watch, the next three that are slotted to die this month in Huntsville death chamber have been called out to the infirmary. There events are a bit confusing for us all… what happened was that a set of escort guards cam to these guys cells and asked, “are you going to medical?”  Hmmmm? So these guys told the escorts that they have not requested or filed a sick call slip… the escorts then replied that it’s for an “EKG”… something to do with checking their heart, weight and vital signs such as blood pressure, etc. etc. etc.

 

I guess they are starting something new because they have never been doing this before this new drug was introduced as their killing agent.  The three men refused to be taken to medical, and I don’t blame ‘em one bit.

 

True American Till Death

Mark Stroman, 2011

“I’ve only 58 days left to live”

 

 

Death Blog

Texas the Lone Star State!

May 24^th, 2011 4:17am

Welcome to my nightmare… tales from a dead man! 

“Give yourselves to disciplines instruction; open your ears to tested Knowledge”

Good morning from another day on Texas death watch… I’ve only 58 days left to live if the powers that are have their ways… whichever it is, however it may be I must thank each and every one of you out there that’s fighting to save my life as well as my soul. Never in all my years of living have I seen so many soft hearted and compassionate people… so many wonderful people, so again let me thank you all for doing all you do!

We are on lockdown once again, and the crazy part is we had just been raided by the shakedown team here on death watch Sunday the 22^nd of May. And after the team went through their procedures and we were able to get our world back in order and situated, Monday morning rolls around and they say lockdown for shakedown. Lo & behold death watch is the first section hit and this time by a whole new crowd of unknown faces bent on confiscating something, just anything. I’m serious, where do they find all these overzealous people at I often wonder? SO we were searched and had all of our belongings gone through again and even had our then little mattresses ran thru the x-ray machine… what a wonderful way to start out a day.

4:32am breakfast is served. Two small ¾ oz dry cereal boxes… no milk or anything… just dry cereal. What?? No peanut butter goo sandwiches?? Thank GOD for that! I guess with the budget cut they don’t want to use too much bread to feed us… and why should they? Ain’t we all slotted for death anyway?? Yep that’s the attitude of many shallow minded people who work here. But the ones who work back here with us on a day to day basis know the human side of us that we do possess human qualities and even contain compassion and human emotions. Sure there’s the monsters but there’s monsters even walking amongst all of you out there in the land of the free… undetected, covered in regular clothing.

My neighbor has 9 days left to live… and is going thru his final countdown on lockdown. Man what a damn evil place this is. We all are going thru the final countdown with him and with a little hope my friend who is also a Muslim will receive a stay of execution. Yes my neighbor is Muslim and isn’t it funny that the State says I’m such a continued threat to society yet I’m able to live next to this man of Islamic Faith… we laugh… we live… and we care!

Well before I close this out let me say this again, for all of you out there who have stood by my side or someone’s side who is in this type of situation as I am, your efforts do not go unnoticed… your compassion and support is what makes these dark days we face seem sunny and peaceful. Never forget that. Ya know at the start of this year I was so torn as what to do… should I just drop the appeal and stop causing emotion turmoil in my friends and loved ones, and that’s a serious thought that had engulfed a lot of my time but then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I will quote a piece I’ve read from a book written by a remarkable man who survived the horrors of Nazi concentration camps during WWII, the man’s name is “Viktor E. Frankl” and it is saying it easy to just lay it down and die. To ease one’s own problems and sufferings as he said. “A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the ‘why’ for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any ‘how’”.

Still unbroken and still Red, White & Blue

True American… loud & proud!

Mark Anthony Stroman 2011